Kidney Stones=OMG!

I'm no kidney stone newbie. I know what those suckers are all about and I wholeheartedly agree more now than ever with the countless people who say they're worse then labor pains, gun shot wounds(although I can't speak from experience on this one), etc, etc. I had my first stone when I was pregnant with Kate and thought I was going into labor. It came on sudden and strong and was over quickly. My next was stronger but a similar story. The 3rd was even quicker, and the 4th known stone was a cake walk. When I had Aidan my epidural never took on one side and I felt the whole thing. By the time I was pushing the other side wasn't much better and I came to understand the expression "ring of fire" that women talk about during labor. I'd do all those over and have a child totally un-medicated before I want to go through what I went though in the wee hours of the morning Tuesday.

Back in 2007 a urologist did a C/T scan and found I had a large stone in my left kidney. He felt it was fine to leave it alone and said I'd never be able to pass it. Fast forward to 2009 and after being put in touch with a new urologist in town (since we had moved) I found myself once again having a C/T scan to check on the progress. The report came back that the stone had grown and was probably to blame for my random bouts of nausea, back pain, and that oh so lovely feeling of urgency only to produce very little. Every time it moved and blocked the exit out of my kidney I'd get these problems. His recommendation: Lithotripsy. You may remember my post about this procedure which essentially blasts the stones into "fine" grains of sand. Ha!

So this Monday arrived and despite having my surgery rescheduled 3 times I was on for 4:00 p.m.. I'd had my last meal, watched my family eat the world's tastiest french fries in front of me, had the nervous-wreck pangs, and was on my way with Daniel to the surgery center to be there at 2:00 for all the fun pre-surgery crap.

I arrived and got all the papers signed and waited. The lady next to us informed us immediately that she had been there since 7:30 and her daughter just now was getting in for her surgery. Daniel said she didn't look pleased when they called my name right on time and took me back. But as I knew from previous experiences, just because they call your name, doesn't mean the show is about to start. Of course they made Daniel wait until I had the lovely gigantic hospital gown on, IV started, and yet another x-ray completed. How many of those do they really need? Couldn't they just look at the one I had done last week? I got the obligatory "Do you feel safe at home?" and "Is there any chance you might be pregnant?" question to which I responded I would hope not since I have a 3 month old. I'm not sure one of the nurses thought I was that amusing.

Daniel came in, we watched a little TV, the strange anesthesiologist came in and talked to us, as did the Dr. who had apparently grown more of a personality, and by some miracle I was being wheeled back for surgery right at about 4:00. Wait!! Where was my "calming shot?" You know the one they're supposed to give you to make you not care about the fact that you're being put under and might not wake up. The one that makes you an instant comedian. No no. They thought I might enjoy being wheeled into the OR totally lucid and wanted to remember them strapping my arms down onto the table. They made me breathe in some oxygen for a couple minutes since I guess my asthma and history of breathing problems had them a little worried and then I decided to close my eyes and take a little nap.

I woke up in recovery and wasn't really in horrible pain. After some conversations with the nurse I was back to the post-op holding area and they let Daniel come in. I had some scrumptious toast and sprite and then the Dr. came in. Apparently my 1 giant stone was really 2 large stones that looked like they were one on the x-rays and they ended up blasting both of them. "One of them broke up pretty well. The other..." He didn't have to say it. I knew what he was saying with his eyes. "It broke up but not as much." "You may have some trouble as they're passing and sometimes the smaller fragments can clump up and cause a blockage." So essentially you have some extreme pain in your future. Fantastic.

Being the optimist that I am I decided to just drink tons of water and believe that it would all be fine. I left with a prescription for Lortab and was feeling good enough for dinner at IHOP. Oh IHOP. I won't ever be eating smoked sausage again. Let's just say it smells the same coming up as it does going in. Graphic enough?

We get home and... This is where if you're not into descriptions of bodily functions or pain stop reading. I mean it. The pain had begun in my back and I got that feeling that something might be stuck. Then I peed out sand and some smallish pebbles. Seriously- it looked like I'd spent some time in some sand dunes. I felt better but the pain in my back was still persistent. Around 10:00 I took 2 pain pills and hoped for the best. By 1:00 a.m. I was back in a hot bath willing 2:00 a.m. to get here so I could take more pain meds. I took them and the kidney stones basically laughed in their face.

That's where things get fuzzy and thoughts of drowning in the bathtub, not being able to reach my underwear or water, and general feelings that death was coming were the norm. At some point I called out for Daniel to come downstairs and the poor guy stayed down there with me for most of the night. I think I begged him not to leave me because I was dying or at the very least was hyperventilating and thought I would pass out and hurt myself. I remember thinking there was no way I could go to the hospital because that would require moving and riding in a car and then I'd have to actually tell medical personnel what was wrong with me.

At another point the pain was so intense I threw up and felt better for maybe 30 seconds and then the severe pain in my back and side returned. There were moments of sleep I think. Perhaps I had just passed out. Somewhere in the 6:00 a.m. range Aidan woke up and some un-known strength came over me long enough to nurse him because if you've ever breastfed you'll understand that I needed to as much as he did.

Then I must have passed out again after Daniel took him away and the next thing I know Daniel's Mom who was staying with us is asking me if I want toast. I first realized I was better because the pain wasn't there in my back anymore and the thought of eating toast didn't disturb me.

The rest of the day I took it easy and had small bouts of back pain and feeling like I needed to pee- which under normal circumstances would have driven me crazy. But in this case I was glad for the change. Finally by Wednesday morning much of the evilness started coming out and the trouble maker finally made his appearance. He was a good size and it's easy to imagine how that guy might have caused some intense pain. So now essentially every time I go to the bathroom and pee into what they call a "hat" it's like a little treasure hunt. There's countless little shiny jewels coming out all day long. Fun for me!

So I'm currently doing fine and seem to have no ill effects from the actual procedure besides a little red spot on my back. Let's just hope there aren't any more big ones in there. Maybe I should call the ER and have some morphine on stand by just in case.