It's like we're real parents

Before Kate was born I dare say we were those people that had the assumptions about how life was going to work with a newborn.  Case in point: we bought a crib.  It got used as a cat hiding place, storage crate, decorative accessory to a cutesy insect themed nursery, and occasional torture chamber for a little princess. Never was it used as a place to catch some zzz's.

We thought baby bathrobes or thin cutesy animal themed towels with no substance would be "fine" and we actually thought our child would rather play with fake brightly colored, child-friendly keys, rather than real ones.  We had a pack and play, a bouncer, a baby bathtub, and an amazingly comfortable rocking chair, all of which you might say we didn't get our moneys worth on.

We swore we'd have a child that would never set foot in our bed and who would happily sleep in a bassinet until she was old enough to sleep in her crib.  I had grandiose notions that breast feeding was going to be easy or that if you just had a well fed, well rested child (like those ever happen ahead of time) that you could enjoy a scream-less dinner out.  Boy were we dumb.  We had no idea we were bringing home our new mistress.

We did the best we could.  We played the free-spirited parents who let our child nap when she wanted to and she slept every night in our bed until she was 2.  Sure we had to discipline her and despite my early feelings that someone was throwing me into something I had no clue how to do, we survived.  We grew a healthy, beautiful, independent child who is strong-willed but knows her boundaries.  Looking back I think we thought she wasn't that difficult of a child.  I think we thought dancing your child to sleep every night to Shaggy's 'Angel' was normal.  I suppose for many parents out there it probably is.  Maybe not the Shaggy part...

So with Aidan I had no pre-determined ideas of how it was going to be other than it was going to be undeniably, unequivocally, difficult.   Boy were we dumb.  With Kate I was caught up in the newness, the strangeness of actually being responsible for a living being that didn't meow, that I just blindly assumed this time it was all going to be the same.

I never assumed I'd have a child that would be able to sooth himself to sleep or would think sweet potatoes were a perfectly acceptable form of food.  I didn't think I'd be giving him baths in a baby bathtub or letting him sleep in a bassinet for naps.  I didn't expect breast feeding would run as smoothly as possible or that we could own a pack and play that would ever get packed and taken on a trip to be used as a place to sleep.  Nor did I ever assume I'd have not 1 but 2 children who went to bed before Daniel and I did.

But somehow, someway we've now got 1 child who seems to actually like going to sleep when we tell her it's time if not before and another who after hearing and reading it enough times, has parents who listen and look for his cues that he's ready for bed at 8:00 and actually put him there.  Two nights ago we were sitting downstairs in the living room when Daniel said, "Do you realize it's 9:00 and both our children are in bed and we're down here and neither of us is holding a child?"

Yes people I did realize it and I kinda liked it.  I kind of liked the idea that although Aidan is not sleeping in his crib probably more because I'm not ready to let him go then he isn't ready, and it's kind of nice and normal for us to have children upstairs asleep while we're watching DWTS.  It's kind of nice to be able to stretch out and sleep next to a child who is in his own little bed, rather than in mine.  I'm happy we've used the baby bathtub and bassinet and it's nice to have a child who doesn't think I'm a crazy little Mommy for trying to get him to eat avocados either.

All of this is to say we've grown and learned a lot in the parenting department since we brought Kate home.  We made a lot of our decisions with her because our survival instincts didn't disappear after the first couple weeks and we did what we did because it felt right at the time.  It wasn't all because of her personality.  Our might have played a part too.  So this time around we're learning to recognize our children are different and we're different.  I may not have a 5 month old that sleeps in his own room yet and I may have a 5 year old who still fights us on veggies just like she did at Aidan's age, but it's OK.  The day is going to come when he sleeps in his own room and the day will come (just like it eventually did for her Mother) when Kate thinks green beans and mashed potatoes actually taste good.  So until then we'll just relish in finally having some "alone time" to watch celebrities dance and take some baby steps towards all the rest.